Hold My Hand
by ZoieFan
Summary: This is a one shot set between after Kenzi's death and before her funeral. Bo's POV.


A/n: Okay so I wanted to try something other than romance and humour. I originally published this yesterday but took it down because I was not happy with the end result. Thanks to that guest who saw it as I did. I agree, using lyrics in a dialogue can be weird. So this is the edited and hopefully better, version. Sorry if I caused any inconvenience.

This is based on the lyrics of Hold My Hand by The Fray. I heard the song and immediately thought of Bo losing Kenzi. Hope I am able to convey the emotions I feel when I listen to this song. So if you can, do take a listen to it first or while you're reading this. As usual, please do leave your thoughts and comments on Twitter or here. Also, I made a Kenzi video a while back. I lurve Kenzi! :) You can find it on my channel if you feel like watching it. :)

.

.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.

.

**I found a picture in my basement  
My face a hundred years ago  
But I don't wanna do like he did  
So full of pride and all alone**

It all happened so fast and yet I went through what felt like a slow motion movie. Dyson was holding me back. Kenzi? My best friend, my sister, my heart was walking towards the gateway. She wanted to be the hero this time. She wanted to save all of us. She wanted to save me. Keep ME safe. Protect ME the only way she knew how.

**Escape is in my blood**  
**Fear is in my bones**  
**But I don't want to walk that road**  
**Please help me?**

There was nothing that I could do to stop her. I somehow couldn't find the strength to fight Dyson. She knew I would stop her from sacrificing herself. I would do anything to have her by my side. Keep her safe. Keep her alive. I tried to free myself from Dyson's grip. But for a reason I could not tell, deep inside I knew she was telling me that it was the only way. That I should let her go. Her eyes told me to believe in her. To trust her.

**Hold my hand,  
I can hear the ghosts calling.  
Help me stand,  
Even if the sky is falling.  
And I want you to know,  
I can't do it alone.  
Hold my hand, my hand, my hand.**

The funeral is tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to help out. Dyson and Trick, even Vex; they were all doing their best to give me space and time to grieve by making the necessary arrangements for the funeral. But how could I grieve if I have yet to accept the fact that she's gone? That I won't be hearing those six inch boots trotting down the stairs and that all too familiar and welcoming voice of hers calling me BoBo? Or the other six hundred and twenty five nicknames that she had for me?

**This is the burden that I carry**  
**And it goes back a hundred years**  
**The lovely shit I did,**  
**I am done with it**  
**You've got every right to leave**  
**But stay with me**

I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was a mess. I hadn't slept a wink since last night; since it all happened. Dyson brought me home, here to the clubhouse. He offered to stay the night with me but I refused. I told him I wanted to be alone. After Lauren heard about what happened, she came rushing here leaving Evony's side. I let her spend the night with me. I tried to sleep, her arms around me the whole time holding me tight as she whispered soothing words in my ear. Her breath I could hear so clearly as I laid there on her chest listening to her beating heart. I felt comfort. I couldn't deny it. I felt safe and loved whenever I was with her. But I feel so incomplete now because as much as Lauren meant to me, Kenzi was always my heart.

**Hold my hand,  
I can hear the ghosts calling.  
And help me stand,  
Even if the sky is falling.  
And I want you to know,  
I can't do it alone.  
Hold my hand, my hand, my hand**

**Hold my hand, hold my hand  
Hold my hand, hold my hand **

I quickly wash my face trying to get rid of the visibly run down mascara.

"Bo?" I hear her calling my name ever so gently. I make my way back to my bed. She was waiting for me; she always did. I need to do the right thing here and make it right with her. But I can't right now. My head's a mess. My heart has a huge gaping hole in it.

I try to smile at her; returning her soft one at me. The way she is looking at me now, her eyes tell me everything. She moves and pulls me into an embrace, kissing my forehead as she once again whispers loving words to me.

I look at her. Stare into her eyes. My own starting to tear up again. I squeeze her hand. She squeezes back. A gesture I know to ease my heartache, my fears of being alone.

"I need to get her back, Lauren," I say; my voice cracking but I try to make it sound bold and determined. I need to find a way to get Kenzi back. I can't live without my heart.

"We will get her back, Bo."

"I'm scared, Lauren. Everything I know is telling me to just get up and leave. Leave all this shit behind. Find some new place to live and start again. But I don't want to walk down that road. I don't want to run away again, Lauren. I need help. I need guidance. I need to be what she always saw in me. I WANT to be the person that you and everyone else think I can be. But I can't do it alone."

"Of course, Bo. Anything you need. Dyson and I are here for you. Even Trick. We all are, Bo," she cups my cheek. I couldn't help but lean into her touch.

"I know that. But I need you, Lauren. I need you to hold my hand. I need to know that you will be here by my side when the time comes. Help me fight the evil or whatever it is that is standing in the way of me getting Kenzi back."

"I will, Bo.."

**You're the reason why,  
I can write a different story  
Lift me up, lift me up  
I'm falling on my knees again, baby**

**Hold my hand,  
I feel the ghosts calling  
Help me stand,  
I can see the sky falling**

"I can't do it alone," I say again; almost a whisper. "You're the reason why I'm still here. Why I won't run. It's you I find strength in, Lauren," I say as I hold her hand that is on my cheek.

"Bo, whatever it is that will come our way, we will get through it. We will get Kenzi back. We will be okay. You have me. I'm not going anywhere," she looks at me with such resolve in her eyes.

"Thank you, Lauren. For always being there. For all those times that I didn't want to admit I needed you," I say as I try to keep the tears at bay.

**Hold my hand,  
I can hear the ghosts calling.  
Help me stand,  
I can see the sky falling  
And I need you to know,  
I can't do it alone.  
Hold my hand, my hand, my hand**

"I told you. I'm yours, Bo," she wipes the single tear that escapes me with her thumb.

**Hold my hand, hold my hand**  
**I need you now**  
**Hold my hand, hold my hand**  
**I need you to**  
**Hold my hand, hold my hand**  
**I can hear the ghosts calling**  
**Hold my hand, hold my hand**

I nod and close my eyes as I slowly shift my position and lay upon her chest once more. The beat of her heart a soothing sound. I will get Kenzi back. No matter what it takes, I WILL get her back.

.

.

.

-The end-

.

.

.

A/n2: So there you have it. Any mistakes found are all mine. And yes, I'm working on an update on BMF. Till then, hit me up on Twitter and say hello. Don't be shy. :p Cheers!


End file.
